A Disciple’s Prayer (2nd Edition – 2012)
Lord,
every year I come before You at my birthday to thank You for the gift of life
and to x-ray my nothingness before You, asking You to make me something for
Yourself.
I
have come to discover that the nearer I try to come to You, the more distant I
find myself from You because in my righteousness, I make one step towards You and
in my sinfulness I make two steps away from You. I am seriously worried by this
situation and I call for Your intervention. I am filled with shame each time I
draw closer to You because:
If
anybody has disappointed You, I am the one.
If
You regret creating man, I am the cause of the regret.
If
anyone deserves Your justice, I am the one.
If
anyone deserves Your mercy, I am far from such one.
If
sinners deserve hell, I deserve the worst of hell
If
I had loved You, I would have obeyed Your will
I
hated you at those times I ignored Your will and did my will.
Yet Your love for me increased.
In
my omissions, I disappointed You, in my words, I hurt others and in my actions,
I scandalized the innocent. Please forgive my sacrileges, heal the minds of
those I have scandalized and blot out my transgressions. Herod attempted
killing You, Judas sold You, Peter denied You, the Jewish authorities condemned
You, the soldiers crucified You, Paul persecuted You, and I keep increasing the
pains of your passion by the mortal sins I have always repeated even conscious
of their sinfulness. I am very sorry Lord.
As
I celebrate over two decades of my presence as a gift to the world, I thank You
for Your faithfulness despite my unfaithfulness and faithlessness and for Your
Love despite my hatred. I thank You also for my family members and friends and
for all the good things I have enjoyed from You.
Last
year, I prayed for grace to overcome sin but I found those sins coming from my
within very strong to overcome. This new year grant me the grace of holiness
and obedience. If I am holy, my thoughts, words and deeds will be holy and sin
will be taken care of. If I am obedient, I will always listen to Your voice in
prayer and You will always direct me. Grant me also the grace to love others
just as You loved and give me the resources to prove my love for them,
especially for the poor.
As
an imperfect being, make me never to close my ears to criticisms because I have
discovered they make me conscious of my weakness and inspire me to be better. As
I write my reflections, help me to be more interested not on what I write but
on what I do. May I be a good example of what I preach and may Your inspiration
never depart from me.
As
you have led me thus far in my vocation, grant that I may become not what I
will like to be but what You want me to become and that I may one day answer
this lofty call. For my family members, friends, colleagues and superiors, who
have always supported me, may they all know Your Love through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Uwakwe Chibuike MaryFrancis Chima
Your reflections always pierce my heart. I sense you humility in this reflection and may God lift you higher. Happy birthday.
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